143 Days to Go

Last night before going to bed, I told myself I NEEDED to go to the gym for Zumba.  Usually when I "set" myself up, I don't go.  Even after setting fifty million alarms on my phone.  But today was different.

Sometime in the middle of the night I had a dream.  Not sure if it was a God-given dream, but it really, really helped me.

For those of you who knows me, my favorite person ever is Jillian Michaels.  I love everything about her.  The way she trains, her personal past, and the list will go on and on.  And I did try out for Biggest Loser show, and obviously did not get accepted.  (Now I know why, years later, because I wouldn't have my awesome zumba class).  There is only one person who could tell me to fun five hundred miles, and I would do it, as long as it was Jillian.

Anyways, long story short.  At the beginning of my dream, I was just the way I was now.  Fat.  My dad and I were running, or should have been running, up this "track" they set in this city we were visiting.  It was very hilly and there was NO flat land.  I stayed by my dad because I didn't want to leave him alone. 

Thats when Jillian came walking beside me.  She kept telling me, that no matter what my situation is, always strive for the best I could.  I can always push myself, and I should always try.  That is when, in my dream, I started running, and running, and running.  I felt good.  Except, leaving my dad behind.

All in all, this dream hit hard.  I love my parents to death, I really do.  I realized my biggest fear for losing weight was not having my parents lose weight as well.  I know I cannot make them do it, they have to do it for themselves.  Would they love me less?  I doubt it.  Would they hold a grudge against me?  I doubt it.  I took my "strive for anything" attitude and kept it close to my heart.

So the next morning, I got up, and stayed up.  I knew if I would have layed back down, I wouldn't get back up.  I slowly got dressed.  I kept thinking about the dream I had.  And how real it felt.  Amazing how one dream can change your attitude.  I drove to the gym, did zumba.  Then I came home, practiced my zumba for tonight.  And tonight I did my zumba.  I just kept going and going and going.  Just like Jillian said in my dream.  I guess you could say I'm shooting for the stars.

I came home from my class and uploaded my bodybugg.  Amazing.  I burned over 4,400 calories, exercised over three hours today, walked over 22,000 steps.  I can do this.  So it's off for another night, and onto another.  Afterall, my goal is to lose 50 pounds right now.  Okay, good. I have 15 pounds down, leaving 35. It takes the first step to start a journey, and I just took my second step.  Goodnight everyone.