Two days combined into one, just because I was hurting bad last night. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
Yesterday was okay. Nothing really to say. Work seemed to drag on all night.
Today I wanted to get up and do STEP at the gym. I woke up, groggy, and in pain still from the fall the night before. I know when my hip starts hurting, I don't need to push it any more than what I think I can do. I don't need to injur it worse than what it is now. So I got up, took some ibuprofen and hoped it would go away. Did some running around. Realized I forgot to put my bodybugg on. Crap. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.
I knew some people said they were going to be coming to my zumba class tonight. I knew with my hip I should take it slow, so I was thinking about telling people at the beginning of class that I was going to take it at a lower level. But I told myself if this one person (and yes she does read this, and yes it is you, Emily) would come that I have to do it like normal. Partly because I wanted to show her "who I was made of" and also I wanted to get her to workout hard.
She came. It was on. I pushed harder than I ever did, and I thank her for that. I know I didn't have my bodybugg on, but she has a similar version and I think she said 640 calories? That's pretty good!! :o) We had a good conversation after class. But it still makes me wonder about my "fat mind."
I know that no matter how much I lose I should be proud of myself. I mean, afterall, God is. Why wouldn't I be? I watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress and this girl lost over 150 pounds. But yet as she tried on all those pretty dresses, she still felt fat. To me, she looked beautiful, no roll hanging over the edges, smooth skin, what else could be wrong? But in her mind, she was still fat. I've been fat FOREVER and I am scared my mind will still be "fat." But I am not going to let it stop me. Maybe I will never have that. Maybe God will let that go from me? Why hold back, when I really don't know yet??
Oh my gosh! I watched that episode too! You should be proud of yourself for the change you have made already and you should thank God for giving you strength enough to do this. I'm so proud of you!!!
ReplyDeleteJess you crack me up!! You are so awesome I wouldn't of cared if you did it easy or not! Don't let your "fat mind" hold you back. Maybe you need to write yourself a letter too! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and celebrate every victory! I am so proud of you and I know you will succeed at what ever you put your mind to! ... if not I will have to kick your butt :)
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