113 Days to Go

I am starting to feel better about myself again.  As much as I hate, hate, hate to say this. I gained a couple weeks ago.  I can come up with excuse after excuse.  But it doesn't matter that I was working 12 hours, or that dad has his surgery, or the fact that I let myself go.  I feel ashamed that it happened, but I cannot deny it.  It happens in and on your journey.  Like I said before in my "contract" you must forgive yourself just as Christ forgives us.  You must move on.

So that is what I who has lost the weight, and kept it off.  I hope one day God will open my eyes and let me see what everyone else sees, espeically Him.

Well, off to bed.  BodyStep in the morning, we will see how sore I am tomorrow!!  :o)
did.

I gained way more than I wanted, let alone, thought I did.  Of course, having the "fat" mind I did, I was like well, so much is due to extra salt, so much is due to the weather, so much is do to this or that.  Seriously? All I am doing is making excuses again.  I rather not say how much I gained or lost of what I gained, but I will tell you that I only have two pounds to go before I'm back at my regular weight a few weeks ago.

To be completely honest, I don't feel like this "awesome" person everyone says I am.  They say I am doing awesome with  my weight loss, or that I am this great instructor.  Really?  Maybe God needs to open my eyes because I just feel like the "old" Jessica I always have been.  But then again, I remember talking with Emily about this.  She sees herself as this regular, God-fearing, plan-jane woman, yet I see her as this awesome person